The Writers' Room

INT. WRITER’S ROOM - DAY
 
TARZAN (24), a strong-built, rough man with a tomahawk hairstyle, SANDRA and DORIAN sit at the boardroom table. HARRY (27), a skinny, gentle looking guy with long and random hair, wearing a big grin, looks in.
 
HARRY
Helloo. Is it Bouncing Bunnies
writing team meeting?
 
TARZAN
It’s Dragon’s Den.
 
HARRY
Ha-ha. Nice one. And I’m your new
fellow writer--
 
DORIAN
Shush. It’s a bad omen around here 
to tell your name on the first day.
 
SANDRA
You never know how long you’ll
stay.
 
HARRY
It’s OK. I don’t believe in bad
omens.
 
SANDRA
And Dragon doesn’t believe in
names.
 
HARRY
Who’s Dragon?
 
DRAGON (45), a tall, loud speaking, rude chief editor walks into the room.
 
DRAGON
That’s me.
 
All writers stand up as they see him.
 
DRAGON (CONT’D)
Hello, a bunch of useless
scribblers, rotten minds and
untalented hacks. Are you ready for
the ride? Mwahahaha. Sit down then.
 
Everybody takes their seats.
 
DRAGON (CONT’D)
We’ll start with attendance.
Tarzan?
 
TARZAN
Roarrrr.
 
DRAGON
Attaboy! Sand-ra?
 
SANDRA
It’s Sawndra.
 
DRAGON
Thunder?
 
SANDRA
(in low voice)
Sawndra.
 
DRAGON
Thunder doesn’t suit you, mumbler.
Durian?
 
DORIAN
Here.
 
DRAGON
Where’s Bimbo?
 
DORIAN
You fired Bimbo last week.
 
DRAGON
Did I? And who’s this awkward dude?
 
HARRY
I’m Harry.
 
DRAGON
You’re hairy. So what?
 
HARRY
I’m a writer. I write for kids.
 
DRAGON
Why don’t you write for adults? Is
your lexicon not good enough?
 
HARRY
Kids are our future. They deserve
the best.
(beat)
I write from my heart.
 
DRAGON
Shock me.
 
HARRY
I have a story about a girl with a
power to turn things into ice, who
almost killed her sister, but then
saved her with unconditional love.
 
DRAGON
What a trash!
 
HARRY
Wait! There are a reindeer and a
funny snowman in the story--
 
DRAGON
I want Bimbo back.
 
Dragon turns away from Harry and looks at Tarzan and Dorian.
 
DRAGON (CONT’D)
Tarzan, Durian, go fetch Bimbo for
me.
 
Tarzan and Dorian leave the room.
 
DRAGON (CONT’D)
Let’s hear your story, Zandra.
 
SANDRA
Once upon a time--
 
DRAGON
Cliche.
 
Tarzan and Dorian drag BIMBO (20), a blond fashionable chick to the stage. She tries to break away and screams.
 
BIMBO
Let me go! You have no right!
 
Tarzan lifts her on his shoulder, she pounds him on his back.
 
BIMBO (CONT’D)
Let me go! Let me go!
 
Tarzan puts Bimbo down in front of Dragon. He pounds his chest in triumph.
 
TARZAN
Ugh! Ugh!
 
Bimbo makes one more attempt to escape. Dorian stops her and turns her to face Dragon.
 
DRAGON
Hello, Bimbo.
 
Bimbo gives no answer.
 
DRAGON (CONT’D)
What? Aren’t you happy to get your
job back?
 
BIMBO
I don’t want my job back! I hate
this room. I hate Bouncing Bunnies.
 
DRAGON
We hate you back. Everybody,
please, say “Boo” to Bimbo!
 
SANDRA, TARZAN, DORIAN
Boooooooooooooooooo!!!
 
DRAGON
Welcome home.
 
BIMBO
You can’t have me back. I’ve found
a new job. I’m a child care worker
at Peanuts Daycare Centre. I
finally can have a peace of mind
and relax!
 
DRAGON
Peanuts Daycare? What’s the
address?
 
BIMBO
2016, Allbright Street.
 
DRAGON
Hairy, write it down.
 
HARRY
Why?
 
DRAGON
Field-trip. You’ll work at daycare.
Learn more about our future.
 
HARRY
I want to be a writer!
 
DRAGON
Get lost.
 
Harry leaves in tears.
 
BIMBO
(crying)
You killed my hope.
 
DRAGON
I said. Sit down. Stop nagging.
It’s time for your hopeless ideas,
stinkers. Can’t wait to tear them
apart. Mwahahahaha.

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